I got a joyous call yesterday. It informed me of a surprise, both good and bad. Because I had so many things on my mind that could be bad, I begged to be told what it was because I wasn't for bad news.
His car is in my yard. My car is in my yard. And when I got home last night, so much angst came running back that I realized I didn't want my car anymore. I couldn't stand the sight of it. It choked me.
We sat outside listening to him starting his car and playing the music. He was like a Cheshire Cat. A comment to me yesterday made me laugh inside. He told me that I think he's playing around when he sleeps by his parents. I told him no I don't. Insert cheesy grin.
He's made some references that have unnerved me a bit and cut my breath. Like "our kitchen" and referencing that a certain someone is not allowed back around the house despite the kids.
I feel the building, I feel the coming together. I feel so much and over it all, I feel terrified. I am scared...I can feel him in ways that words aren't coming to mind to say...
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