I went to the ex's sister's house yesterday. Awkward mess for me. I felt like I was on the outside looking in. Two of his nieces, well one spoke, the other disregarded my existence. I played catchup with one of his other sisters. Then kept to myself outside.
Last Monday it was a birthday party for the same sister's grandson. There's still a smoothness with a few of them. But it doesn't quiet the rage I have inside for having to sit and "pretend" I am okay being around them. My thoughts flickered about how he would've been if he'd been there, and how he's missing out on his kids growing so quickly.
Couldn't I have just dropped them off and had some time to myself? This elusive alone time that every mother needs?
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