So, it goes from unguarded to known. I am a whirling, frantic, giddy child inside. Relieved, like after holding in the need to use the bathroom so bad, you think you are going to wet yourself.
And, it went better than I expected, and I sit, soaring inside that it's out there, nursing a pang of fear that I don't know.
When I "like", I do so hard. Oddly enough, I don't want some all out, big time, over the top, "thing". I don't want a relationship defined in ink now. But, I am not saying I want the other way that can be interpreted. It's hard to say what I think.
I am tired of being bogged down. Of belonging to someone. But yet, I long to be tied down and belong to someone. The. Right. One. However, I want something slow and languishing to build. I want something, built, stone by stone, not brick, not, rock, but a hand sized stone, slowly and surely worked on. Gradually looking like it's not moving, but one day realize there's a great structure interwoven with such intricacy it takes my breath away.
I just loved hard and strong and gave my all again fearlessly because I didn't want to be fearful and jaded. And yet, that has resulted in me being just that. Fearful and jaded...
Slooooow, I cannot stress that enough. That is what I am looking for. A snail pace where time is not wasted or rushed...makes sense?
